How do I unlove you? How do you unlove a person that has been a major part of your happiness? Of your life? Is there such thing as unloving someone? We all do fall in love. If you are lucky enough, you’ll find your person at the right time, at the right place. The timing is perfect. Then as the saying that we all hear when we were little goes, “and they lived happily ever after.” Just like that. Envy of others huh?
For some, they have to go through hell and high waters to find the one. The person whom they will spend the rest of their lives with.
Rainy day today, just like the day I met you. “I don’t like the rain” I said, but you said it’s alright. Because after the rain, there will always be rainbow. I looked at you and said “I’m scared of the thunder, too”, you held my hand. I felt safe. I want to feel safe everyday thereafter. So I longed for you and you were there. I thought it is going to be as simple as that, I have you and you have me. I found a reason to wake up every morning. I am excited to go home because I know I’d find you waiting for me. Ready and willing to listen to the things I’ve gone through the whole day. We laugh together. You held my hand so I won’t feel alone. When I am with you, there is this feeling that I can’t explain. A heavenly feeling. It is so heavenly that I am willing to drop everything for you. I will do anything to make this last. To make “us” last. I hoped it won’t end. “This is love.” Well atleast that’s what I thought.
Until one day you decided to bid goodbye. You found someone else that can make you happier than you are today. How selfish can you get? You left me devastated. Wounded. Wondering if I can ever pick up the pieces of myself that was shattered when you left. Will I ever be whole again? Will I ever be capable of loving someone again? You sucked all the best in me. Were you even mine to begin with? I can’t breathe. I died. I died inside. I took each day one at a time, to heal, to try to live again.
With a guarded heart, I tried to flip another chapter of my life. This made me the tough person I am now. This time I am wiser, braver, stronger, fiercer.
Francis Scott Fitzgerald once said, and let me quote “There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” Relationships come in many different forms, and you will never have the same love with one partner as you have with the next. You may love them less, or sometimes even more. -I want to love even more.
I carry the scars of the past as a reminder of what I’ve been through. I have to meet the wrong people, to appreciate the right one that will come along. I am scarred, the past is real, but I survived.